Chocolate Soul Food
by coconutjelly596
Summary: chappy 3 up finally! A sweet fic about Hemione, her bff Ginny, a mysterious boy-turned-man from Hermione's past, and a little thing I like to call Chocolate Soul Food.
1. The Problem

A/N I recently watched the movie Stepmom starring Julia Roberts and some non-famous lady whose name I don't know, and it gave me this really cute idea for a fic. If you've seen the movie, you probably know where this is headed. However, I may turn this into a real, special ------/Hermione fic, in which this is only a small part of the plot.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, and the plot isn't exactly original, I don't own Frappecino, but Chocolate Soul Food is MINE, and, on really bad uh-*girls days*, it really helps. Unless you have killer cramps. Then I suggest IBuprophen. But if you want the recipe, I'll give it to you.  
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Hermione ran crying into the teachers' common room at Hogwarts where she was the Transfiguration teacher. She was soaking wet from the rainstorm taking place outside.  
  
"Hermione! What's wrong ?" called Ginny, who was sitting by the fire, planning her Charms exams, as Hermione ran past, positively screaming with misery.  
  
Hermione ignored her and ran into her bedroom, slammed the door, and flung herself onto the bed.  
  
"Hermione?" said Ginny softly through the door. "What's the matter? How was your date? Did something go wrong?"  
  
Hermione just continued sobbing in response. So Ginny knew that something had indeed gone wrong. After living with her for six years, Ginny knew that when Hermione cried, it was serious. Moreover, they had both learned how to interpret the other's sobs, shruggs, and lipstick and toothbrush talk.  
  
"Can you tell me in five words or less?" Ginny offered.  
  
Ginny heard Hermione's head lift off the pillow and say, "I hate Draco Xavier Malfoy."  
  
"Oh," was all Ginny said. "I'll be right back. I'm assuming this will require Chocolate Soul Food?" Chocolate Soul food was their name for the junk food they made to ease the pain in their souls after a breakup.  
  
"Yeah," said Hermione sniffily. She knew where Ginny was headed. Every time one of them was dumped or hurt by their boyfriends, the other comforted her with their favourite snack.  
  
A few months into their new found friendship, Harry had dumped Ginny and she had come home in tears. When Hermione had asked if she could make her some coffee, Ginny had asked for her favourite snack. To her surprise, it was Hermione's favourite too. After that, they had kept a supply of ingredients on hand at all times. It was in a special cupboard hidden behind the back wall of Ginny's closet. Every time one of them was sick, recently dumped, or PMSing, the other made a batch to cheer her up, and they shared it.  
  
A few minutes later, Ginny came back. "May I come in?" she asked politely. They had a rule about knocking before entering, ever since Ginny had walked in on Hermione in bed. Naked. With Ron next to her. Ron wasn't asleep. Neither was Hermione. Enough said.  
  
Ron was Hermione's boyfriend and lover(A/N duh). He was the Care of Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts. His brother's love of dragons had finally rubbed off on him. A lot of their old friends had come to teach here too. Draco Malfoy was the Potions teacher. Parvati and Lavender were the co-professers of Divination. They had taken over after Prof. Trelawney had seen the Grim and fell down the long spiral stairs running from it. Harry taught Defense Against the Dark Arts. No duh. Neville taught Herbology.  
  
"What do you have?" asked Hermione, knowing full well what the answer was.  
  
"Double chocolate brownie mix, with strawberries, shredded coconaut, and two spoons," replied Ginny.  
  
"And a mocha Frappecino?" asked Hermione hopefully.  
  
"And two mocha Frappecinos," agreed Ginny.  
  
"Come in!" called Hermione sounding much happier already.  
  
Ginny opened the door and two floating trays came in after her. On one large tray was a large clear glass bowl filled to the brim with what looked like dark brown mud with moldy strawberries on top.  
  
"Yum!" said Hermione, eying the bowl greedily. "Spoon! Spoon!"  
  
"Spoon," said Ginny handing one to Hermione.  
  
"So," said Ginny when half of the bowl was empty and the empty mocha bottles lay forgotten on the floor. "What happened with you and Draco?"  
  
Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes again, and Ginny quickly shoved a spoonful of soul food into her mouth.  
  
"Thanks," said Hermione, tears gone now. "I needed that."  
  
"Spill," commanded Ginny. It was their signal to tell what the problem was.  
  
"Well," said Hermione weakly. "Ron and I were walking in the park-"  
  
"I the rain?"  
  
"Yes Ginny, in the rain. Anyway, we were walking and I saw Malfoy. So I said hi, and he grabbed my wrist and pushed me against this huge tree. Ron tried to get at me, to set me free. It sounds so silly, 'he set me free' that's something Harry used to do. Anyways, Malfoy grabbed me and he-he-he-" Hermione broke down into sobs again.  
  
"Oh, boy," sighed Ginny. "If he's making you cry this much, Ron must've maimed him."  
  
Hermione grinned bleakly. "You haven't heard the rest of it. Ron was aways away when Malfoy grabbed me, and we were on the other side of this tree. Well, Malfoy kissed me just as Ron came around the tree. He had me pinned to the tree, and I couldn't get away from him. Just as Ron came 'round the side of the tree, I put my hands on Malfoy's face to push him away, and when he did Ron-Ron-"  
  
"What did my brother do now?" said Ginny exasperatedly.  
  
"He-he-h-h-he thought that I was cheating on him w-w-w-with M-M-mmalfoy!!!" wailed Hermione. "And he dumped me!!! He called me a scarlet witch!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
Hermione fell onto Ginny's shoulders, sobbing. "And he did it in front of the whole park!!!"  
  
"I cannot believe it!" said Ginny indignantly. "It is times like this that I truly think he was adopted. I'm going over there right now-"  
  
"No!" said Hermione, grabbing Ginny's arm. "If you go over there, he'll know I've told you!"  
  
"We tell each other everything!" argued Ginny, "He knows that you would tell me!"  
  
"But if he knows that you know, then he'll know that I'm upset about it!"  
  
"You are upset!! This problem required Soul Food!" said Ginny, starting to get upset herself.  
  
"Please, just don't," pleaded Hermione, making puppy dog eyes at Ginny.  
  
"Oh, alright," agreed Ginny. "But you need to talk to-" she stopped suddenly. "I know exactly how to get back at him!!!" she squealed excitedly.  
  
"How?"  
  
"I saw this movie once, where the girl, um Anna, gets dumped, and she asks her stepmom for help. And she says to walk up to him in front of everybody and just spew all these insults at him that would work for the teenage girl I'm talking about, but that I'm going to change for you, OK? Right. You walk up to him in front of Hogwarts, on the last day of school, in front of all the students, and you say, 'Look buddy. As far as your *pathetically* small knowledge of what women want, I've known *slugs* that know more than you do. I plead temporary insanity for *ever* agreeing to go out on a date with a loser like you who doesn't even know what a snowblower is!' Then you turn around and walk away. You stop, turn around and say, 'The guy that *I* see, is graduated from the most prestigious school of witchcraft *in the world* with top marks. So I can have an intelligent conversation with him. And it must be said, that every time we talk about *you*, he laughs his head off.' Then you just walk away to a gorgeous guy standing next to an insanely expensive broomstick, or even better, a motercycle!!! Ohhh! That would be sooooo perfect!"  
  
"Two problems," said Hermione. "One, I don't know any gorgeous guys that own motercycles and would be willing to do this. Two, Ron would never fall for that. Three, term ends in a fortnight. That gives us two weeks to set this up."  
  
"That's three problems Hermione," taunted Ginny. "Oh come on! You know you want to do this! It'll be perfect, and I'll plan it all out! You can keep working at the school!!! Please!!!"  
  
"Oh," sighed Hermione, knowing she would never win. "I suppose. But who are you going to get for it?"  
  
"That's for *me* to know, and *you* to find out." declared Ginny happily.  
  
"What have I gotten myself into?" sighed Hermione, headed towards the bathroom to clean herself up.   
  
"Lots and lots of fun," said Ginny quietly, rubbing her hands together. "Hehehe...."  
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A/N OK, how was this? Do you think I should keep going? I just want to thank silverpheonix for giving me the idea for the title. Tell me what to do with this story!!! Who do you think the guy should be?? It needs to be 'a guy from her past' remember. And I don't want this to be a Harry fic. I haven't really planned anything past this chapter. HELP!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. The Man

A/N I have finally decided who the man from Hermi's past will be! Yea! It took a while, but PiPPin's Gurl and I finally got it figured out in Murphy's seventh period class. I'm not sure what you'll think of it, but I warn you, it *will* be a redhead, not necissarily a Weasley, but a redhead none-the-less.  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing.  
  
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Hermione flew to a dark old house and entered through a window. She settled herself over a door in an abandoned nest, and sat down to wait.  
  
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Ginny walked up to a dark, and slightly spooky house. It was in a run-down area of a Muggle town. As she walked through the door, Ginny noticed that there was a bird nest above the door frame and in it was an adorable fluffy little brown bird. She looked around. 'Where is he?' she thought desperately. 'If I don't get back to the castle by curfew, I'm gonna be in some massive trouble. He better show up quick!!'  
  
"Ginny?" asked a deep, and v. sexy voice, making Ginny jump. "Is that you?"  
  
"Yeah," she sighed in relief. "I'm glad you could make it. I wasn't sure you were coming."  
  
"Well, I'm here," said the voice impatiently. "What did you what to talk about?"  
  
"Come here," she said. "It's about that favour you owe me."  
  
"Man," sighed the voice. "I knew those five-hundred galleons was gonna bite me in the butt some day."  
  
"Bite you in the butt?" asked Ginny incredulously. "Where'd you get that one?"  
  
"America," said the voice. "I learned a lot there."  
  
"Like?" prompted Ginny.  
  
"I'd rather not share," said the voice, and Ginny thought she caught a glimpse of red ears under even redder hair. "if you get my drift."  
  
"Oh," said Ginny. "OH!" she added, realizing what he meant.  
  
"Yeah, so anyway, what was the favour?"  
  
"Oh, that. Well, you may not like it, but you don't really have that much of a choice."  
  
"And how do you figure that?"  
  
"I have blackmail on you, and besides, if you do it..." Ginny held up several pictures of the man wearing a kilt and a toga, both bright pink.  
  
Hermione didn't hear Ginny finish her sentence, because she wa fighting to hold her Animagus form through her laughter. She slipped and nearly fell off her perch. When she had herself under control, she heard the stranger say, "Where did you get those?!"  
  
"That doesn't matter, what matters is that I have them. You were drunk and you will pay for it."  
  
"Fine. First let's make a deal."  
  
"Okay, what do you say?"  
  
"I do the favour and I get the pictures. No doubles, reprints, anything. I get the originals, all other prints, and the negatives, no questions asked, no one ever seeing them, to do with as I please. After I'm done, I no longer owe you a favour. We will be square."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Good. Deal?"  
  
"Deal."  
  
They shook hands.  
  
"Now, what do I have to do?"  
  
"My dear brother Ron has broken her heart. He actually thinks that she was cheating on him with Draco Malfoy."  
  
"Yikes."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"But what does that have to do with me?"  
  
"Well, we've decided to get back at Ron by having Herm insult her in front of the whole school. I've got a list of things for her to say, and one of them is 'the guy *I* see'...."  
  
"And you want me to be that guy?" he said, folding his arms.  
  
"Exactly. Because he won't believe her, so we need a hot guy, preferably one who owns a motorcycle. He has to be very good-looking of course, smart, funny, someone that Ron would actually believe she would go out with, and an alumni of Hogwarts who passed with top marks in all his classes."  
  
"And I fit all the criteria?" he asked smugly.  
  
"Yeah, and you're also *very* modest," said Ginny impatiently.  
  
"I try."  
  
"Great so, do you agree?"  
  
"Do I have a choice?"  
  
"Not really, no."  
  
"Then, yes."  
  
"Goooood. Here's what you have to do. On the last day of term, be waiting just inside the gates next to your motorcycle. You should be there at about 10:15, that'll give us twenty minutes to carry out the plan. She's going to rag out Ron, then walk over to you. Herm is gonna walk right up to you, and you have to reach out and kiss her. Oh, and make it look real, will you? Don't just give her a peck on the cheek, I want to see some tongue slipping out of your mouth, and hold her close to your body."  
  
"Ginny! Why do you always come up with such torrid love affairs to stick me in? You read to many Harlequines. You should write your own."  
  
"How do you know I don't?" muttered Ginny.  
  
"What?" he asked incredulously. "You actually write that trash?"  
  
"Hey, I'm on the Liverpool Best Sellers List. Third for nearly five weeks!"  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Ever heard of Vinnia Lovewell?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Think about it. Well anyway, back to our job. The reason this is costing me a five hundred galleon favour, is that you might have to go out on a few dates with her, because if Ron sees one of you with another person, he'll know that something's up."  
  
"Le sigh. I suppose I can do that. But what about the breakup? How do we manage that bit?"  
  
"I'm still working on that one. But I promise, I will figure it out. You'll be able to get a different girl soon. We'll just have to wait for Ron to get another girlfriend, I think."  
  
"And what if he doesn't get one for months and months?"  
  
"Well, Herm works at Hogwarts, and she'll probably be in and out of the castle all summer. You work in China, so I don't think you'll really be seeing her that much."  
  
"Well, I think that's all the details. I must admit, Gin, this is a really good plan. I think it actually has a slight chance of working."  
  
"Wow. Thank you, oh great one. You vote of confidance is overwhelming."  
  
"Well, I guess I'll see you later. Bye!" and he began to walk away.  
  
As he was over the hills, he thought he heard her voice saying, "Bye....." but he couldn't hear her saying his name.  
  
After he had walked away from the Muggle city, he Disapperated. The bird that Ginny had seen hopped onto the ground. It waited for Ginny to leave before turning into a tall, slender woman with a very curious expression on her face. "Hmmm," she muttered to herself. "Perfect Percy. Percy the Prefect. My boyfriend! Just my luck to get my old crush. Oh well. I hope he listens to Ginny's advice. 'Hi Perce!' I'll say, and he'll gab me and pull me into a kiss. Ron will gape at us as our tongues dance together in front of the rest of the students. Oh, it's gonna be fantastic!" she transformed back into the bird and took flight through one of the windows of the old house.  
  
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A/N I hope you liked this, even thought it took me forever to get up. It's not very interesting so far, but I think it'll be a little better in later chapters. Don't worry, though, Perce isn't gonna do the deal, then split. This wouldn't be a romance fic if there weren't any real feelings involved.  
  
Ahem! Thanks to the *two?!?!?!?!* people that reviewed in the first week!:  
  
Caroline-I'm glad you like it, but are alright in the head? Draco just got Ron to break Herm's heart! He's a cold, heartless, jerk!  
  
PiPPen's Gurl-Yes, I know you act like it! I deal with it every day! (just kidding!) No I don't want it to be Harry, for reasons I have already explained to you! Now listen up, this is important: KRUM IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY STORIES EXCEPT AS A BAD GUY, AND HERMIONE GRANGER DOES NOT LOVE THE BAD GUY! *mean and nasty* Clear? *sweet and innocent* 


	3. The Women

A/N Well, here's chapter three at last. I hope you like it, and thanks to all who reviewed.  
  
Disclaimer:I own nothing in this except  
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Chapter 3-The  
  
After her evesdropping session, Hermione raced back to the castle before Ginny could find her missing and alert the entire castleful of people. She flew as fast as she could towards the teacher common room, through the window she had purposely left open, and divebombed the vacant couch, transforming into herself as she did so. The effect was that she seemed to be in mid-air and suddenly land with a soft *thump* on the couch.  
  
"Nice moves Herm," said a voice.  
  
Hermione's heart sank. She would know that voice anywhere. She had heard it in the night enough times. "Hello Ron," she replied cooly. "How are you?"  
  
"Well that's a bit formal, don't you think?" he asked.  
  
"No I don't," snapped Hermione. "I think it's just perfect to use in our relationship."  
  
"Why is cruel and cold perfect for our relationship?" asked Ron bemusedly.  
  
"Because," started Hermione harshly. "it was *cruel* of you to think that I would ever cheat on you. It was *cruel* to not bather listening to my side. It was *cruel* to assume that even if I would cheat on you, that I would do it with Malfoy, and it was *cruel* to leave me in the *cold* rain in the middle of a Muggle park, so that I had to *walk* to Kings' Cross to get back here. Not exactly what I'd call the perfect day. I loved you, and I thought you loved me, but obviously I was wrong."  
  
"Oh, Herm," said Ron softly. "I do love you. I always have."  
  
"Really?" asked Hermione. She leaned in for a kiss, but Ron pulled away. "What?"  
  
"Well, the thing is, I'm seeing someone else," Ron confessed.  
  
"What? How can you have found someone so fast?!" shrieked Hermione.  
  
As if cued by Hermione's words, Lavender Brown came bounding through the door and sat down next to Ron, snuggling into his chest.  
  
"Ugh," said Hermione, looking disgusted. "I need to get out of here."  
  
Just then ,Ginny came through the door and walked to the couch. Just before her back end landed, Hermione grabbed her arm and pulled her up. "Come on," she muttered darkly, staring at Ron.  
  
"What?" she said.  
  
"We need to talk," said Hermione tersely. "There's someone-uh something you forgot to mention to me."  
  
"OoooooKkkeeee," said Ginny slowly as Hermione draggd her up the stairs.  
  
Hermione pushed open the door to their suite and entered the lounge. They shared a suite, with Hermione's quarters on the right and Ginny's on the left. In the middle was a lounge that they shared.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me that you had *Percy* in mind?" Hermione demanded without preamble.  
  
"You sorry little evesdropper!" Ginny cried indignantly.  
  
"Yes I am," admitted Hermione. "And I'm proud of it! Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Why does it matter?" asked Ginny. "He owed me a favour-you probably heard that too, right?"  
  
"Yeah," said Hermione, and began to giggle. "And I saw the pictures too."  
  
Ginny laughed too. "They were taken at Bill's wedding. He got *really* drunk, and I sort of *cajoled* him into putting it on. I think Fred and George slipped him some Putty Liquers."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Putty Liquers. They're these thing that you give to someone and, oh what's the slogan? Oh yeah! Give it to someone, and they'll be 'putty in your hands, and anywhere else you want them!'"  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"Yeah! But they only lasted a week. The ministry said that it was too close to an Imperious Curse Candy."  
  
"Oh," said Hermione. "Well, at least you got these pictures!"  
  
"So, why are you so mad about Percy being your fill-in?" called Ginny from the hall, where she was in the bathroom washing her face.  
  
"I'm not," said Hermione, as she walked to her room to change for bed. "but, well, ya see, I had this-this-"  
  
"Crush?" supplied Ginny, as she went to her own room to change as well.  
  
"Yeah," said Hermione, while walking towards the bathroom to remove her makeup. "I had this crush on him, and now I have to pretend to go out with him. The thing is, I heard you tell him how to kiss me, and, well...."  
  
"You're not sure you want it anymore?" offered Ginny, as she and Hermione both entered the lounge at the same time and sat down on the couch.  
  
"No, I still want it," said Hermione urgently. "It's just that, I-I'm not sure I'll be able to control myself around him. Ya know? Kinda like your problem with Harry?" she added, grinning.  
  
"Ha ha ha," said Ginny, her voice positively oozing with sarcasm. "I get it! No need to poke fun!!"  
  
"Please!" whined Hermione, before putting on a devious face. "It's soooo much fun."  
  
"Well, don't worry," assured Ginny. "It's all fake. Knowing him, he'll probably apoligize for mauling you or something."  
  
Hermione giggle. "Mauling me?" she asked incredulously.  
  
"Well, remember in my first year, when I saw him kissing Penny?"  
  
"Yeeeaaaahhh," said Hermione slowly.  
  
"Well, when I left the room, I could've sworn I heard him apoligize for holding her so close, and that he hoped it wouldn't hurt their relationship," explained Ginny.  
  
Hermione snorted. "He'll probably beg me not to turn him in for sexual harassment!"  
  
"But you wouldn't dream of it, would you?" asked Ginny teasingly.  
  
"Of course not!" said Hermione indignantly. Then she caught on. "Hey!" she exclaimed, and threw a pillow at Ginny. It hit her square in the face.  
  
"Ah!" she screamed in mock outrage. "How dare you?!"  
  
"What?" asked Hermione innocently.  
  
"You threw this pillow at me!" shrieked Ginny, brandashing the offending cushin at Hermione.  
  
"I did not!" said Hermione huffily. "Why would I do that?"  
  
"Because I was teasing you about Percy!" said Ginny loudly, and clapped a hand over her mouth, looking over Hermione's shoulder.  
  
Hermione spun around and saw what Ginny was staring at with such horror. Ron was standing in the doorway, clad only in his boxer shorts. Hermione blushed and quickly averted her eyes from his naked chest.  
  
"It's not like it's something you haven't seen before," he kindly reminded her.  
  
"So?" demanded Hermione. "I still shouldn't be looking at you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you might enchant me again with you bulging biceps and washboard abs," she replied icily.  
  
"Why are you in here, Ron?" asked Ginny suspiciously.  
  
"I wanted to talk to Hermione," he said, still looking at Hermione.  
  
"What if she doesn't want to talk to you?" asked Ginny. "What if she'd rather talk to her *new* boyfr-"  
  
Hermione firmly clapped a hand over Ginny's mouth to stop her talking. "Shut up." she growled through her teeth.  
  
"You mean Percy?" asked Ron, one eyebrow raised.  
  
Hermione turned around and mouthed to Ginny, 'I'm going to hurt you.'  
  
"No, not Percy," Hermione said. "I used to have a crush on him, and Ginny was teasing me about it. I haven't seen him in years, why would he be my bofriend?"  
  
"Oh," said Ron. Did he actually sound relieved? It didn't matter. "Well, I just came to tell you Hermione, that I'm sorry about Lavender."  
  
"Oh, don't worry," she said lightly, before turning her face very cold. "I'm sure she'll snap out of it eventually."  
  
"Good night, Ginny," he said, "Night Herm."  
  
"Good night, Ron."  
  
"'Night Ron!"  
  
Ron walked out and closed the door softly behind him. Ginny left out a long, low whistle. "That was close."  
  
"Very," agreed Hermione. "I wonder why he's sorry?"  
  
"He still wants you," said Ginny sagely. "He's feeling guilty for leaving you."  
  
"I somehow doubt that," said Hermione. "I told him it would never work!" she burst out suddenly. "I just wanted to be friends so we wouldn't break up and then hate each other forever."  
  
"It's OK," said Ginny. "With any luck, he'll be so jelous of Percy that he'll come crawling back on his knees!"  
  
"Yeah right," said Hermione dully. "He wouldn't do that. He's got too much pride."  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right," agreed Ginny.  
  
"Oh, that's *real* helpful," said Hermione sarcastically. "Unbelievably, amazingly helpful."  
  
"Well, I try," replied Ginny grinning. "Come on, it's late. We need to rest. I've still got to write the exam questions from chapters 5-8 and chapters 12, 14, 17, and 29. I should've been working on that today. But, things happened."  
  
"Night Gin," called Hermione from her bedroom. She turned out the light and was asleep before Ginny could say, "Good night, Herm."  
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A/N Short and pathetic, I know, but it was all i could think of. I'm sorry, but if people would review!!!!!!  
  
Thanks to:  
  
weetziefairie-Thanks!  
  
Teigra-I loooove your name! I know, he's gonna grow up a lot more in this story!!!  
  
canihavea-soda-I have more dark then light, but I can relate to that!! This is the first Perce-fic I've written, so I hope you like it!  
  
Weasley-Gurl-Thanks!  
  
PiPPen's Gurl-Part of the reason I wanted to finish this chap, was to thank your review. Here goes!!!  
  
Are you crazy?!?!?! Percy was *YOUR IDEA!!!!* YOU NITWIT!!! How can you forget things so quickly!?!?!?! I'll let you claim weekend, how 'bout that? 


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